Ephesians 5:25
25 Husbands, [aner] love [agapao] your [heautou] wives, [gune] even as [kathos] Christ [Christos] also [kai] loved [agapao] the church, [ekklesia] and [kai] gave [paradidomi] himself [heautou] for [huper] it; [autos] KJV-Interlinear
25
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave
Himself up for her; NASB
The wife is to place herself
of her own free will, under the complete subjection of her husband.
As a single person she
has no such obligation. But once she
marries, she then places herself under the command and will of her husband, and
she should know this, and certainly him, prior to entering into marriage.
The husband on the other
hand has the authority of command, but that does not come lightly to him. He likewise has a tremendous obligation and
responsibility to his wife, in that she is not his slave, but now his
responsibility.
His pattern for rule is
love. But this is not just any love and
certainly not the kind that you are probably thinking about.
Love, ‘agapao,’ is a
reference to the principles of truth.
This is not friendship, not intimacy, but principle.
Christ is the
pattern. Christ did all for the church,
which is the body of believers. Christ
participated in the establishment of the divine decrees, which it the detailed
plan for all of history. Christ created
an entire universe, in all of its phenomenal detail. Christ executed a plan for salvation which
took him to the very brink of death and beyond.
And he did it for only one reason, which was you and for your eternal
benefit.
Everything that Christ
did and has done and will do, is for the benefit of the church on the whole and
for you individually.
This then is the pattern
of the husband.
He has a wife, and then
presumably a family. In the typical
family structure, the husband is the master of the home, but the wife is the
commander of the family within that home.
A smart husband will
clearly identify his wife's strengths and utilize them, by allowing her to
function freely within the home. One
never attempts to micro-manage the area of responsibility of another. Micro-management only ends in chaos and
confusion. This is true in government,
in the military, in organizations, and especially in the family, which is the
fundamental organizational and support structure for all of society.
As goes the family, so
goes society.
Now, obviously in our
contemporary times, there are many different types of family structures. In most families, both parents work, just to
be able to make ends meet. And in those
situations, the successful family divides up the home responsibilities for
practical purposes, but the main objective of the family is the unity of that
family, and not the individual objectives in entertainment. Both parents must work together with common
goals.
Where there are questions,
then common sense and unselfishness should be the guide.
But remember the overall
responsibility of the husband is to place his wife’s welfare ahead of himself.
Christ gave everything so
that the church could thrive and have eternal life. The husband cannot give eternal life, but he
can place his wife’s needs first on his priority list.
Later we will see that
the wife in not commanded to love her husband, but to respect him, and that is
a very different attitude requirement from what is mandated of her husband. That study is still several verses away.
When both husband and wife
give their all respectively to each other, then the marriage can only be
successful. But that giving of all,
incorporates all aspects of the marriage, and cannot be used to pick and choose
what one will or will not abide with.
Manipulation or control, are not a part of this marital formula.
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