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1 Timothy 3:11
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11 Even so [hosautos] must their wives [gune] be grave, [semnos] not [me] slanderers, [diabolos] sober, [nephaleos] faithful [pistos] in [en] all things. [pas] KJV-Interlinear
11 Women must likewise be dignified, not malicious gossips, but temperate, faithful in all things. NASB
The words ‘must their’ is in italics so the reader knows that the words are not a part of the text. There is no possessive pronoun or definite article connecting women with deacons, as their wives.
‘Even so women’, is how this verse begins.
But the word for women, ‘gune’ in this context is a reference to mature women, not immature women or girls as it were. Typically when a girl becomes a wife she is transformed into a woman. That, by the nature of being married. But that does not make her mature. Maturity comes with knowledge and experience, and that is obtainable regardless if one is married or not.
Back in Pauls day, there was not a Greek word for deaconess, so deacon was used in the masculine in all cases, whether it referred to men or women.
Paul has been describing the characteristics expected of the elder (or instructor of Bible doctrine), and the deacon (one who is engaged in general Christian service). Remember that the deacon is only a word for servant, in the broad sense of the word. All Christians have a servant obligation.
And here, Paul quickly changes from men to women, only to make sure that the reader knows that these characteristics, which he has used to describe men, likewise, apply to women deaconesses (Christian service).
So the word ‘likewise’ or ‘even so’ means just that. Just as these characteristics apply to men, so too they apply to women.
Paul does not list them all, because that is not necessary, because he uses the context to include all of the attributes as they apply to both genders, for Christian service.
Women, just as men, must be grave, not slanderers, sober, and the catch all – faithful in all things.
The believer must be ‘grave.’ The word for grave ‘semnos,’ means honorable, honest, serious. It again, is non-generic so it applies to all believers.
It indicates that the person has his/her priorities in order, that he/she looks to God first and not to the world, with respect to responsibility and accountability for ones thoughts and actions in life.
They are to not engage in sins of the tongue, but be poised and temperate in their behavior, under self control, non-judgmental and so forth. And as with all believers, faithful (obedient to Christ) within their spiritual life.
That means that a daily study, spiritual growth, spiritual maturity and so forth, are mandatory (not optional) practices for every believer, and especially for anyone who is expecting God to make use of them in this life, within His plan.
God uses prepared believers and He uses them in a proactive way.
God does not use unprepared believers, except in their role as historical filler. And filler is not a very complimentary description. But unfortunately most believers do not pursue their spiritual life in accordance with Gods mandates, and therefore most believers are simply filler for history. Though of course most would never agree with that description about themselves.
Christian service is not what you do, but in what spiritual sphere that you do it.
Whenever you are in fellowship (you have confessed your sins to God the Father), then you are in active Christian service. What you happen to be doing is irrelevant. The spiritual life functions from within the fellowship sphere, and not from within the carnal sphere.
So you could be cooking, changing diapers, driving a car, or designing the next Mars flight. If you are in fellowship, then you are engaged within your Christian service. Christian service is not limited to church choirs, prayer groups, or such things as most folks tend to define as their Christian service.
God is not interested in your works. God is interested in the content of your soul. And the content of your soul is determined through study and learning and understanding Bible doctrine.
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