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Philemon 1:8-9
8 Wherefore [dio], though I might be [echo] much [polus] bold [parrhesia] in [en] Christ [Christos] to enjoin [epitasso] thee [soi] that which is convenient [aneko],
9 Yet for [dia] love's [agape] sake I [parakaleo] rather [mallon] beseech [parakaleo] thee, being [on] such an one [toioutos] as [hos] Paul [Paulos] the aged [presbutes], and [de] now [nuni] also [kai] a prisoner [desmios] of Jesus [Iesous] Christ [Christos]. KJV-Interlinear
8 Therefore, though I have enough confidence in Christ to order you to do that which is proper,
9 yet for love's sake I rather appeal to you — since I am such a person as Paul, the aged, and now also a prisoner of Christ Jesus — NASB
The word for order, ‘epitasso,’ means to make a correct suggestion. This does not mean to order as a captain would give to a private in the army.
There are certainly folks out there, who take themselves far too seriously and they presume that they possess the authority to command, to force, to cause folks to follow their instructions. You’ll find these kinds of folks in cults, or guru’s, or social circles, who have appointed themselves into lofty positions, in order to usurp power and enforce authority over others.
But Paul does not take this position. Paul makes it clear that through truth, and through his knowledge of doctrine, he possesses the resources to make correct suggestions. Whether anyone listens or not is their prerogative. But a wise person, who knows of Pauls reputation and wisdom, would be smart to listen and follow his instructions.
Paul does not command, but prefers that Philemon hear the request and then of his own volition, decide to agree with Paul and grant his request, which Paul is about to make.
For loves sake, for the principle of truth, Paul asks rather than demands.
Most folks will respond to a request rather than becoming defensive to a demand. And besides, even God does not command, but gives truth and then allows you to either follow it or not.
In Gods commands, the idea is that there is a cause and effect to everything you do. Follow Gods command and the results are good. Disregard Him and the results are not good. The individual makes his own choice and God allows it, even if the choice is the wrong one.
In this setting, Philemon does not work for Paul, nor is he answerable to Paul in any way, but relationship is not relevant when truth is involved.
I can command you to believe in Christ because that is the only way you will be saved, but some folks might resent being told what to do, even if it is the correct decision and only decision with regard to salvation.
Now ordering folks to wear black on Sunday’s, or to not chew gum on Sunday’s, or eat fish on Friday’s, and such things like that, are really not Biblical nor legitimate. Some cultures can come up with lots of social rules that have absolutely nothing to do with truth.
That is how the Levitical Priesthood failed, because it came up with so many rules that a person could not look left or right without breaking one rule or another.
Paul knows Philemon by reputation only. Paul is the recognized authority on Christianity. And as such, when Paul speaks, then people listen to his every word, and they take his words seriously, even as though God Himself was speaking. That is the high degree of credibility and authority which God has placed in Paul.
And as Philemon has certainly taken Pauls request seriously, and presumably agreed with and followed Pauls request, so too, we as believers living in our current day, many centuries after Paul, should take His words in the Bible very seriously. After all, the Bible is the Word for God, not the word of Paul, even though Paul has written nearly half of the New Testament books.
Paul refers to himself as the ‘aged,’ but here aged means ambassador, not an old man. If Paul was thirty years old at the time of the Cross, then he is probably in his fifties or perhaps early sixties when this letter was written, some thirty years later. We do not know Pauls exact age.
However, being in prison, waiting for his postponed trial to begin, has probably taken its toll on him. With grey hair perhaps, and the long days of waiting, he probably has aged as we all would under the same circumstances.
But ‘presbutes’ refers to an ambassador or a well entrenched representative. And Paul represents Christ, here in this world.
We can all learn from this approach to social interaction. It is far better to give advice or educated opinion based on truth, rather than to state blunt orders.
When people are allowed the space to consider their alternatives, and to evaluate the content of your words, then they are more apt to come to their own conclusions and the correct conclusions without feeling like they have been forced into them.
When a person chooses a path, they will more likely follow it because it was their choice.
