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Philemon 1:14
14 But [de] without [choris] thy [sos] mind [gnome] would [thelo] I do [poieo] nothing [oudeis]; that [hina me] thy [sou] benefit [agathos] should [o] not [hina me] be [o] as [hos] it were of [kata] necessity [anagke], but [alla] willingly [hekousion] [kata]. KJV-Interlinear
14 but without your consent I did not want to do anything, that your goodness should not be as it were by compulsion, but of your own free will. NASB
Paul does not wish to coerce Philemon nor extort Onesimus away from Philemon under false pretenses.
Back in those days, there were laws concerning slavery and runaway slaves. Philemon had invested time, money, and resources in Onesimus, so Onesimus owed a debt of sorts to Philemon.
In similar fashion, Christ went to the Cross and paid our debts, and as such we owe Him for his work in our behalf. God gives us our freedom, for only the payment of believing in Him. That is a pretty easy way out of an eternal obligation.
But if we run away from God, as Onesimus ran away from Philemon, then we would be constantly on the run, forever, and freedom would never be ours to possess.
So, certainly after considerable discussion, and we presume that Onesimus probably came up with this proposal himself, otherwise how would Paul have learned about Onesimus’ past, then Paul composed this letter and proposal to Philemon.
Philemon is the master and it is his right to decide the fate of Onesimus.
As a runaway, Onesimus was no good to anyone. He was worthless. Even in his former state of service to Philemon, he was a worthless slave. But now everyone wins.
Onesimus has believed in Christ and has apparently accepted greater responsibility for his own actions. Why else would he agree to return to his master, and to perhaps certain conviction and a death sentence for running away?
Paul does not wish to deprive Philemon the right to make up his own mind, and so Paul defers to Philemons decision, whatever that decision might be. Likewise, Onesimus defers to Philemons decision.
Onesimus places his life, quite literally, and his freedom, in his masters hands.
Normally a person would not do this unless they had a certain level of trust in their master, and that is exactly what we face day in and day out with our life.
Far too many people will give lip service to Christianity, but deep down they do not trust in God. Generally it takes a period of hardship before people will really learn to trust in God.
Perhaps that is what is facing many of us in this world today. There are always hardships in life, but sometimes when the world goes so negative toward God, those hardships explode, enough to really send us into a terror tailspin. Life does not have to be that way, unless you yourself make it that way by not obeying Gods mandates.
