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Titus 3:10-11
10 A man [anthropos] that is an heretick [hairetikos] after [meta] the first [mia] and [kai] second [deuteros] admonition [nouthesia] reject [paraiteomai];
11 Knowing [eido] that [hoti] he that is such [toioutos] is subverted [ekstrepho], and [kai] sinneth [hamartano], being [on] condemned of himself [autokatakritos]. KJV-Interlinear
10 Reject a factious man after a first and second warning, 11 knowing that such a man is perverted and is sinning, being self-condemned. NASB
The word for heretic, ‘hairetikos,’ means one who has made a choice, to choose, one who is engaged in, or taking part in, an opposing view, a conspirator.
Typically a heretic represents a person who forsakes a generally accepted truth, and chooses some dogma of his own invention. Or, one that is obstinately attached to an opinion contrary to that accepted in society. Or, one who is defiantly stubborn in their own beliefs, and will neither submit to truth, nor reason.
This choice is one of conscious choice, in his own insincerity, from a system of philosophy that is not interested in some furthering of truth or the betterment of society, but from a selfish desire to increase his own livelihood.
Anyone who disagrees with you is not a heretic, although many use the term erroneously just to accomplish some slander or ego victory. But a true heretic is anyone who subscribes to beliefs that are not in conformance with truth. Since the Bible is truth, then any other belief is a pursuit of lies.
And Paul makes it very clear here, that such a person, who can be any person, does this freely and of their own volition, and with full knowledge of what they are doing. They have no excuse when their certain and destined date with judgment, arrives.
During your lifetime, you will be confronted with many such controversies. It may be with a marriage partner, a child, a friend or acquaintance, a stranger, with anyone in general. You approach your relationships with people in different ways.
In marriage you always support your spouse, and always stick with them through thick and thin.
In family, you always provide continuing instruction and advice with children so long as they live with you, and to some extent when they have left the nest.
In these relationships you cannot simply walk away, or shouldn’t.
But when it comes to friends, acquaintances, and strangers, you can only do so much, go so far, and then you have to let go, if they reject your point of view. God will deal with them, perhaps in another way, or by some other means, but when you hit a brick wall of rejection, then you have no choice but to back off.
And here, the word is reject, ‘paraiteomai,’ means refusing admission, to decline appointment to an office. And in this manner your attempt to convince someone in doctrine, has not failed, but that the listener has refused your view, therefore your engagement, appointed by God, has been withdrawn and reserved for another.
As with a salesman, you may have many opportunities to sell your goods, but will meet with many refusals before you actually make a sale.
And so it is with your participation in the conveyance of your beliefs with others, throughout your life.
You may have many opportunities, or you may have very few. That call is not yours, but Gods. And what God does here, is to allow you to quietly withdraw from a potential confrontation that will only get ugly.
By refusing this principle, you only make yourself a nuisance to others who simply do not want to hear your views, and your persistence will only set their ultimate conversion back, as they become more and more defensive. And besides, your persistence will become a violation of their rights to not listen, to not engage in your views, an invasion into their privacy and right to make their own decisions, and you demonstrate poor and improper Christian ethics, making you the hypocrite, not them.
Truth stands on its own. It does not need you in order to convince others. God the Holy Spirit is actually the one who is keeping the line of communication open, not you. And therefore, if anyone continues to reject, they are rejecting God, not you. But then you have no right to condemn, judge, make your own evaluations, or make smirk remarks, either.
Everyone in this world, will have ample opportunities to hear the gospel, and doctrine. Everyone in this world, will have ample opportunities to accept or reject the gospel or doctrine. You may be only one instance, out of many, of their hearing. So you do your part, and then move on if appropriate. Your effort is not a failure, so you have no basis to get upset because someone you want to help, refuses your help.
When I first began posting this study online, only a hand full of folks discovered it for many years, but now after a decade, it is read by folks in over 80 countries (according to the last Google Web Site analysis I received). But still, nearly half of those who visit the study, never come back, and of those who remain with the study, many will still fall away sooner or later. I wish there were a one-hundred percent retention, but that would be an unreasonable expectation. If the study falls on deaf ears for ninety-nine, but only one listens and learns, then the study is a success.
And so it is with your life. Your priority is to grow up in your spiritual life, first. Then, when you are prepared, God will use you for His intended purpose, not yours. And what that purpose is, you might not discover for many years, but one day you will recognize your purpose, and you will also discover that God made you the perfect person for that job.
God has an infinite number of possible uses for you, and each is no greater, nor less valuable, than any other.
And in that, you will become the hero, the blue ribbon, the gold medal, the trophy winner that God has made you into. And that, you could never, nor ever will, gain from this world on your own.
